Be Outcome Independent

Being outcome independent in life can be something that is hard to achieve in every situation.  Sometimes we are dependent on a certain situation playing out in our favour because we don’t have many options.  Getting to this point is not so much an attitude as it is a lifestyle, by putting yourself in a position in life where the outcomes don’t have as much effect on you.  For instance, how dependent are you on your pay cheque at work and how easily could you switch your job if you had to.  Do you get too caught up with  women you are seeing and chase them as if she is your only chance at getting a girl?  If you’re in a position in which you have multiple attractive women to choose from it becomes much easier to not worry about the outcome of any one interaction.  When you are less worried it completely changes your interaction in the first place.  However, trying to fake this one or use gimmicks of some sort is truly difficult, you have to battle a lot of internal emotional forces.  The best thing is, put yourself in a position in life where you do have multiple options, maybe some better then others, but you always have a choice.
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Ten Tips for Increasing Laughter

This is a little summarized piece from the book laughter by Robert Provine that I thought I would share.

1. Find a friend or personable stranger – Laughter is a social signal that almost disappears in solitary individuals.
2. The more the merrier – A large crowd laughs more then a small one.
3. Increase interpersonal contact – Increasing face-to-face, eye-to-eye contact between group members maximizes laughter.
4. Create a causal atmosphere – Worry and anxiety kill laughter.
5. Adopt a laugh-ready attitude – you can voluntarily choose to laugh more by lowering your threshold for laughter.
6. Exploit the contagious laugh effect – If you are among a group of laughing people, you are likely to join in with your own yuks.
7. Provide humorous material – Humorous materials in the form of jokes, cartoons, books, videos, films and audio recordings are potent and reliable stimuli for laughter.
8. Remove social inhibitions – A person may increase laughter by either leaving an inhibiting setting or by personally becoming less inhibited.
9. Stage social events – Social happening bring people together.
10. Tickle – Like a powerful drug, tickle should come with a warning label and be used with care.

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Be the Chasee, Not the Chaser

It is common belief that the man should chase after the woman.  However we have all seen the opposite happen, that point when a man is not quite interested in the women, wherein then she starts chasing after the guy.  It is very counter intuitive but the fact is, women should chase men.  When you have your shit together as a guy and you truly are an alpha male, you become the prize and your seed is in demand.  Women are coming after you.  Look at any famous rockstar or musician.  I’ve heard countless times a woman say “I would fuck Brad Pitt” without ever even having met him!  Who is chasing who here?  Perhaps women aren’t so much chasing as giving themselves up.  Now the reality is most men don’t fully have their shit together, even a lot of rich guys lack crucial things like humor, personality and self confidence.  They end up having to chase women.  But for the true alpha males at the top, it is quite the opposite.  When in a territory of women, an unknown male may have to introduce and establish his dominance as the alpha.  But once that dominance in the group has been established you become the prize and women are more likely to chase after you.
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Don’t Be a Victim of Circumstance

There are some things in life that you can’t control.  Your family, where you live, your height are all such examples.  Sometimes we get lucky and we end up on the better half, sometimes we don’t.  There are also things in life that none of us have control over, like the economy, death of a loved one, a natural disaster.  You cannot let these things overcome you and be at their mercy blaming your lack of fulfillment of your goals on them.  Don’t be a victim, things will happen but you need to keep plowing through and weather the storm.  It’s not always about making the right decisions, but just letting the hurricane pass through and realizing it will be sunny again.  So many people will get discouraged and stop at this point, they will use these experiences as a reason to stop doing things or not even start at all.  You can’t try to fight everything, sometimes just let things be the way they are and plow through anyway.
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Hack Your Culture

I just read this great article on Tech Crunch titled Hack Your Culture on how you can control your destiny.  So often we think life is out of our hands.  We can’t imagine how we might become a successful entrepreneur or become good with women.  In actuality, like Justin says, this is not something you need to worry so much about.  First you need to decide what you want.  Once you have that firmly established, surround yourself with as many people as you can that share your visions and goals.  For instance finding an environment where there are many entrepreneurs or men that are pursuing the same goals as you are.  Just being in the environment provides opportunities and lets you know that you’re not crazy, that there are others like you who have the same goals as you do.  Strive to surround yourself with as many people as possible who share your goals and as long as you have the “what” taken care of, the “how” will figure itself out.
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Men Should Chase, Women Should Keep

Women have called me a player many times.  The truth is I see a women I like and I pursue them.  This should be the mentality of any man learning how to become good with women.  It’s not about playing, it’s about knowing what you want in life and taking it.  What it comes down to, is finding a women that can keep YOU.  That is where the women’s game comes in.  She needs to have her own prowess to keep you around and wanting to be with her.  This usually happens when a women doesn’t sleep with you too soon and provides more of a challenge.  One that is both sexually and mentally stimulating.  Otherwise if you are single do your own thing and keep exploring and having fun with women until you find that one that really has the ability to keep you around.
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Plan Ahead of Time

Have you ever noticed that when you go to a comedy show and expect to laugh, you seem to just be in a better mood and laugh at things more easily.  You kind of turn that part of your brain on for the duration of the show.  Your brain just activates and fulfills it’s own prophecy.  The thing is, this is a general truth and a very strong psychological tool.   It is a great trick to get yourself to do things in the future.  It’s as if telling yourself something even a day or two in advance sets your mind to trigger it and make it happen.  I always plan my week out, and having it in mind that when I wake up Saturday morning, I’m going to write, read, or whatever, makes it happen.

I originally discovered this by accident as I began making plans for myself to avoid procrastination.  I set myself some simple plans for the  Saturday to do some writing since I hadn’t done any in a while.  I woke up that Saturday and from bed without thinking about it walked straight to my laptop and wrote for two hour straight without even eating breakfast or taking a shower.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the following week on Friday night, I remember thinking to myself I had a really busy week and thought to myself, I’m just gonna take it easy tomorrow (Saturday) and watch a movie and kill some time until the evening which I had plans for.  I woke up that following Saturday and felt fresh and ready to do work, however I ended up putting on the movie.  As I sat there watching the movie, I remember thinking I wasn’t even tired and that I could just do some work for today, even if a little.  However I did none, I watched the movie and spent the rest of the day on the Internet reading news and downloading movies and music.

It was only until a couple days later that hit me, and I realized the power of pre-programming yourself to do things a day or two in advance.  It even further helps if you write them down, just a little quick list of priorities you want to take care of for the weekend or particular day.  Then take the most important one and make it the first thing you do that day.

The problem is most people don’t make plans at all and they see their weekend as their time to finally relax and do nothing or go shopping or do whatever other useless activity.  So what happens, they wake up Saturday morning and they do exactly that, nothing.

Now keep in mind that the goal here is NOT to regiment your life and have everything carefully planned out.  The goal is to avoid procrastination, get things done and plan out what is most important at the time.  It makes a big difference to sit down before bed, preferable at least every other day and just do a quick check on where you’re at and where you need to allocate your time for the next couple days.  You don’t want to be caught lingering wondering what you should be doing, your brain should know and be on autopilot.  This is a great tool to help make yourself much more productive.

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Be Flirtatious With Your Plans

Never make direct plans when making a date.  If I’m inviting a women over with the intention of sleeping with her, it’s I need her to help me come and move something, or I have some Halloween candy for her if she wears her costume.  If it’s a date, I’m setting up to have a thumb war over a disagreement or I have to see her before she dies the following week.  As ridiculous as it all sounds, it’s all very fun and flirtatious and any reason other then getting together for a date or sex is a good one.  My favorite line to this day, as I’m taking a girl home to sleep with her goes like this:

HER: Where are we going?
ME: My place.
HER: Why are we going to your place?
ME: I want to show you my stamp collection.

This is money and it never fails.  I absolutely love this line and humorous things like this.  You’re not hiding the fact of what you want to do, but just twisting it and making fun of the obvious truth, that you want to see her, sleep with her, or whatever it is you’re trying to do.

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Be Picky

It’s always good to display to a women that you are picky.  Not picky in some kind of obsessive way, but that you take time to make your decisions.  This is to reflect that you are also picky with women.  I always make sure to get this point across as soon as possible to a women, if I meet her at a club, I may just tell a story about how I need to go buy new shoes the next day and how it’s this whole planned event, because I like to take my time when buying shoes.  I’m picky, I’ll try on different things, my feet are important it has to feel right and look good.  If I’m on a date I will usually tell her that I won’t settle down into any relationship with a women.  If I pick a women, it’s because I’ve tried all the rest and I choose one because that is the one I want, not because she chose me and I have no other options.  Don’t go too crazy with this, one or two stories will suffice, don’t say that you’re picky, display it through a story.  This will really build attraction as it shows you’re not just going to accept her just because she is there, you will be qualifying her and trying her out.  When all the other guys are just accepting her as is, mostly for her looks, but you are prodding and qualifying her, she will naturally be attracted to you.
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Women Don’t Have to Like You, to Be Attracted to You

This is one that is hard for a lot of guys to get.  Anyone who has been in the PUA community would have come across David DeAngelo’s great phrase, “Attraction isn’t a Choice”.  It is absolutely true and it goes one step further, the truth is the women doesn’t even necessarily have to like you.  You have to keep in mind that a women liking you and a women being attracted to you are two different things.  It’s a little counter intuitive as we would think that a women has to like us to be attracted to us.  However, how many times have you been friends with a women, got along well, you liked each other, but she wasn’t attracted to you.  There is a big difference and they don’t go hand in hand.  This is where a lot of guys kind of crack, they are busting a women’s balls, everything is going well, then they start worrying she doesn’t like them, they are turning it on too much.  They water it down because they want to the girl to like them, which in turn they think will attract her to them.  This is not how it works, she may not like you, but she still may want to fuck you.  Women have certain attraction switches, and they can’t turn them off, they respond to power and status.  Of course you should try to get the women to both like and be attracted to you, but realize they are mutually exclusive.
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Take Risks

Taking risks is a double edged sword.  On the one side, take too much risk and you potentially damage yourself foolishly, however don’t take enough risk and you will never get the opportunity to succeed.  There is a great little piece from Richard Dawkins book, The Greatest Show on Earth which illustrates this example beautifully in nature:

“Individuals that are too flighty never get a square meal, because they run away at the first hint of danger on the horizon.  It is easy for us to overlook the dangers of being too risk-averse.  We are puzzled when we see zebras or antelopes calmly grazing in full view of lions, keeping no more then a wary eye on them.  We are puzzled, because our own risk aversion keeps us firmly inside the Land Rover even though we have no reason tho think there is a lion within miles.  This is because we have nothing to get against our fear.  We are going to get our square meals back at the safari lodge.  Our wild ancestors would have had much more sympathy with the risk-taking zebras.  Like the zebras, they had to balance the risk of being eaten against the risk of not eating.”

What’s common with men approaching women is not so much their willingness to take big risks, but rather their unwillingness to take any risk at all and being too risk averse.  They never quite take that extra chance to hang in there a little bit longer and risk screwing things up and learning the lesson, they bail early or set themselves up to fail before they even start.  Our wiring is a little messed up and is set to not make us take too many risks.  We see this happening in many of the decisions we make particularly with finances and women.  With women guys seem to play it safe due to some other faulty wiring associated with the potential death faced of approaching a women from our prehistoric days.  You need to overcome this out dated wiring and take some calculated risks in life, especially with women if you are to get anywhere.  Be too risk averse and you are living life as a lottery.

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Kino Escalation the Fun Way

Kino escalation is vital in your success with women and should begin from the moment you meet one.  However from the time you meet a women to the time you have your first date there may be a little bit of a disconnect, so starting where you left off may be inappropriate at times.  Usually at some point in the date I will either find a guy preforming odd body language or kino right in front of us, or tell a story about how the other day I saw this guy doing some really awkward kino.  As you’re doing it, demonstrate on her.  Then I like to get into a little bit where I say, “I’m a master of touch btw”.  She will probably laugh and say “oh really”.  Have a little conversation on it.  I will tell her how their is a right way to touch a women and a wrong way and tell her stories about both.  After this little conversation, I will then really start to pour on the kino, first with leg to leg touch.  But, I will do it very obviously as I keep talking.  When she laugh’s and gives you that look like “what are you doing”, reply with, “you seem distracted”.  Keep it going, this is a great time to throw in the little trust routine.  At this point, if done correctly, she should start really warming up to you.  Lay off the kino for a bit then continue, this time in a real way, she should by now feel much more comfortable with it.
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Review: Laughter by Robert Provine

This book really had some juicy pieces, probably the most interesting being laughter’s strong connection to relationships between men and women.  That not how much the man, but how much the woman laughs is a strong positive health indicator of a relationship.  A lot of what we laugh at is actually not in relation to anything funny, but in many cases it’s approval seeking behaviour, particularly on the males side.  The book also gets into the relationship between status and humor and how humor goes downward through a social hierarchy implying that people of higher status actually get more laughs.  Although parts of the book were boring, like the chapter on opera which you could totally skip, it’s definitely worth a read.
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Ask Her if She Trust’s You

Trust is probably one of the most important things in attracting a women to you.  If a women doesn’t feel safe around you, her attraction for you will diminish and even if she is attracted to you initially, it won’t last for long.  Through many, many conversations with women and hearing how they described men they have been with and how they have treated them, it is no wonder women are cold and negative at times.  Building up that trust early on is crucial.  This can be done in many ways, for instance telling a story about how you protected someone in your family, if you have a sister, tell a story about how you didn’t like it when she had guys around the house and tell her about one in particular that you just didn’t trust.  This is a great display of how you are a protector and will look after her.  One of my favorite things to do is to at some midway point in the date ask her if she trusts me.  Make sure you do this with a slightly humorous tone:

YOU: So do you trust me?
HER: Semi trust, I’m still getting to know you.
YOU: Well, you know if this is going to work, we need to trust each other. (make sure you use hand gestures here).
HER: (will smile and agree)

This little tiny quip shows you understand what trust is and communicates that she can trust you.  Combined with some DHV’s and story telling this little piece will really start making her melt in your hands.

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Most Women Are More Nervous Than You Are

I think one thing guys fail to realize in approaching women is how nervous the women are themselves.  The only difference is that they have become very good at hiding it or using quick blow off techniques to get away from their nervousness and back to a state of calmness.  The fact is, if you approach a women and you got nothing to say, why do you expect her to have anything to say either.  This creates awkwardness and makes her feel nervous, especially from a social pressure view point.  It’s important to be aware of this and to keep plowing through and talking until you can get her to a comfortable state where she feels she can open up. On first dates I find it a good technique to simply ask a women if she is nervous.  Usually by the time you see a women after getting her number, you each kind of forget what the other looked and acted like.  By bringing this up it conveys that you aren’t nervous and if she is nervous you convey an acute awareness of it.  Now you are that comforting voice and you display that you can tackle discomforts head on, not try to idle around them.  I always find the best way to get rid of an uncomfortable situation is to approach it directly, preferably with some light hearted humor.
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Artful Kissing Routine

Here is a nice sexy and romantic little routine to use on a women when you can tell she wants to kiss you.  This can be used in clubs, bars or in comfortable situations at home on your couch.

YOU: You know, kissing really is an art.
YOU: Do you know the best way to kiss a person?
YOU: Come here, I’ll show you.

The whole time you should be doing a triangle gaze from eye to eye to lips.  Speak slowly and softly, lean in to kiss her.  At a club it’s good to use as you are talking into her ear, slowly kiss here there and transition to the lips.

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The Ring Routines

This is a set of great routines I recently stumbled upon by accident.  It pretty much works all the time.

First off if you’re with a women, club, date, whatever and she has a ring on, if you have enough rapport with her, ask her to see the ring.  Try it on a few fingers and then tell her you like it and you’re keeping it.  This of course leads into all sorts of fun play of her trying to get her ring back.  Now, there is an opportunity here to make a very slick move.  If you can, get to a point where you are teasing a trade of a kiss for the ring.  But when she agrees, give her the ring without the kiss and say “I don’t want to buy your kisses”.  This is a very slick romantic line that has worked VERY well every time.

Second, always have a ring on of your own and make sure it’s a pinky ring so that it can hopefully at least fit on one of her fingers.  Get something simple that is unisex as well.  Now if you’re on a date or meet a women on a club you give her your ring to complete the trade.  Now you’re locked in and this creates all sorts of social proof opportunities.

Here is the third part.  Get yourself a very feminine looking ring.  I stumbled upon this after doing part two, where I traded rings with a girl and had a girly looking ring on.  Of course if you’re talking to the next girl she will probably tell you that your ring is very girly looking.  This is your chance to put in a nice DHV spike and social proof.  All you say is something along the lines of “ya, I traded with some girl, but I think she took off with mine.” or “ya, I stioe it from a girl after she stole my ring.”.  You’re communicating that there is a women out there looking for you.  Some women trusted you enough to trade with you in the first place and it’s a WOMEN.

This set of ring game routines are great and usable in almost any situation when with a women.  I usually wear the feminine ring when going to clubs, and use a normal ring to “trade” with women on dates.  It’s great and if the women plays along can build massive social proof in places like a club especially if you’re play fighting with a women who is trying to get her ring back.  Remember, treat her like your annoying little sister.  Also a great way to get kino going as you’re touching her hands to see the ring.

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Be a Follower and a Leader

In life you are always following. Everyone is a follower, however only few are also leaders.  Think back to your days in high school where the follower/leader dynamic was probably most prevalent.  Remember how followers used to emulate the popular kids in speech and appearance.

The act of following is a biological mechanism.  Everyone wants to naturally attain higher status, which in turn provides access to more mates.  If you are lower status, there are only two ways to get there.  One way is to figure things out on your own, which can take a lot of time and is where true leaders really sit.  The other way is to emulate and copy.

Hand’s down, following is the fastest way to improve your status.  When you feel someone has higher status then you,  your mind is automatically thinking they are doing something “right”.  The trick is to find the proper people to emulate and set your standards really high.  To keep a unique identity and not come off as a total carbon copy, find multiple people to emulate.  Pick two to four people you aspire to be like and you will become a mixture of them all.

Here is an article about a study done on 12 adult male rhesus macaque monkeys that gives us some extremely interesting insight into the mechanisms involved with followers and leaders and the biological mechanism that are built with in us.

Platt conducted the experiment by offering thirsty monkeys a choice: their favorite drink, in this case Juicy Juice cherry juice, or the opportunity to look at computer images of the dominant, “celebrity” monkey of their pack.  Despite their thirst, they chose to look at the pictures. “What is celebrity for a monkey but their status?” said Platt.  Monkeys with status have food, power and sexual magnetism — everything the others crave. The impulse to look at these “celebrity” monkeys was so strong, it superceded thirst.  But they were not willing to give up the juice to look at pictures of subordinate monkeys, Platt found. In fact, they had to be bribed with extra juice to watch the rhesus riffraff.

Doesn’t that make you look at the whole media industry at a totally different angle.  The obsession with glamour and Hollywood.  The obsession for all this comes through this underlying mechanism of wanting to emulate people with higher status.

As you grow, you will start becoming a leader, which is extremely important as it starts building that alpha male persona.  Once you begin to lead a group of people your thinking patterns will really shift.  You should always aim to be a leader in some group, even if it’s a supervisor at your company leading a couple of people.  Take this second study mentioned in the book Laughter by Robert Provine.

In a rare and enlightening naturalistic study, sociologist Rose Coser found a strong relation between humor production, the target of humor, and the professional status among staff at a psychiatric hospital.  (The analysis focused on laughter that was a response to an anecdote or other “intended provocation.”)  During staff meetings, the senior staff (psychiatrists) most often made junior staff (residents) the target of their witticisms.  The junior staff did not reciprocate, most often targeting instead patients or themselves, a pattern also typical of the lower-ranking paramedical staff (psychologists, social workers, sociologists).  Not once did the junior staff target a senior staff member present at a meeting.  Consistent with this finding of downward humor, the paramedical staff never made any member of the psychiatric staff (senior or junior) the butt of their humor.  Humor apparently had high social costs only senior staff could afford.  The average witticisms per staff member were 7.5 for senior staff, 5.5 for junior staff and only 0.7 for the lowly paramedicals.  These values are especially striking because junior staff did most of the talking at meetings.

The follower/leader dynamic has some very interesting underlying layers.  It’s as though, if you are not in a position of leadership you are just not turning on the subconscious triggers in your mind to behave a certain way.  Imagine the implication this has on other parts of your life.  If you are a vice president of a company does this affect only your interactions at work, or outside of work as well.  The key is to always move forward, constantly becoming a better leader.  With some awareness about these mechanisms we can strive to become much more effective leaders and to get there in a shorter period of time.

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The Mechanical Nature of Game

Many times I hear guys express concerns about being too mechanical with their game making them feel unnatural and manipulative.  One thing I always keep in mind in attracting women is that it actually is a bit of a mechanical process, however the word mechanical just makes it sound weird and manipulative.  I think of it more as a courtship process, a song that I sing like a song bird would sing to attract a female.  The song bird is singing the same song every time, it doesn’t think about whether it is mechanical in nature or not.  What happens is we used canned material and it feels like we’re lying and that is where the real problem comes in.  You’ll notice that when you use material of your own, even when repeated it feels much less manipulative because it’s your own, it was a real experience or inspired thought.  The fact is, in life we reuse the same material all the time, jokes we use, stories we tell even lines on women.  We just never really thought twice about it because it was our own.  The trick to using canned material is to own it.  I use Mystery’s Elvis opener because I like it and I think it’s pretty interesting, I stole it and now it’s mine and that’s that.  If I had read that Elvis dyed his hair black in a magazine I would have told people about that anyway, because I think it’s just interesting, I don’t care what the source is.  Just because you got it from a PUA, don’t worry about it, own and make it your own.  As your game progresses you will gain your own experiences and you can start incorporating your own experiences and lines into your game slowly replacing all the canned material you have learned.  I believe a good PUA has a good combination of both canned and natural game.
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The Power of the False Time Constraint (FTC)

I want you to think about something for a minute despite what you may think about the statement, just take it in.  Assume people are input/output machines,  you give them input, you get some kind of output.  Of course things are much more complex then this, but sometimes they are not complex at all, they are just simple.  Using an FTC as weird as it may seem, is just a form of input.  Even though it may seem weird using it, people aware or unaware of game will still respond to it on a subconscious level.  They don’t consciously realize what is going on, but you are creating comfort by letting them know you are gonna leave and there is no commitment to the interaction.  In fact it can be used to amplify attraction once a little bit has been built, by using proper body language and making it seem like you’re about to leave.  Them knowing that, from your FTC, will make them want you to stay.  You have come in, entertained them and now there is this sense of you leaving, but they want more.  It’s simple simply and demand.
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Have Your Inner Game Handled

Being good at the inner game and being able to close is important.  If you can close consistently even though the women you get may be by luck or circumstance it means the important part of you is solid, the part that matters, the part that women are ultimately attracted to.  Having this will give you much more confidence as you will realize you truly are the prize.  If a women actually gets to know you, she falls for you and it’s over, this means there is something great about you.  The trick now remains how do you show that to a complete stranger.  Even though you are this great guy, women just don’t know it yet.  How do you build that up?  Don’t worry so much about being so mechanical in the opening, the fact is, it IS a mechanical process. It’s just about going through the motions to connect you and the women so that you can get passed the standard bullshit and actually connect.  The trick is getting good at getting passed it as fast as possible and getting straight to that connection point so that you can both just be yourselves.
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Change Your Lifestyle, Not Your Habits

We all have things we would like to change about ourselves.  Ways we would like to be healthier, be better with women or make more money are typical examples.  We have all tried losing weight by not eating certain foods, or maybe we want to learn a new technique with women on phone game or what have you.  The important thing to realize is that when you are building a new skill or trying to make a personal improvement,  think about how you can make it a lifestyle change not just a habitual change.

For instance, I was never a big phone talker, I didn’t like the idea of sitting on the phone and talking to people, I would rather just meet up.  This is how I ended up approaching women at that particular stage, I completely ignored the phone game.  I decided however, that I wanted to improve it, but rather then just talking to women on the phone and thinking about all the techniques I would have to use on the phone with them, I decided to make it a lifestyle change.  I would call someone everyday, talk for 10 to 30 minutes on the phone and made it a part of just what I do.  Now when I called women, it was natural, it’s just what I do normally.

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Characteristics For a Strong Personality

As you develop as a PUA you will naturally begin to acquire some skills that will not only help you with women but also in other areas of your life.  I believe that the process of becoming a PUA is the best and fastest way to develop these skills.  Being able to approach women in any situation and win them over takes a lot of skill and requires a really sharp and strong personality.  Developing your personality is something that is hugely neglected in society and you should not feel weird in any way developing it.  With that said here is a list of personality traits that one should focus on developing:

Charm – Having a natural ability to win people over, not just women.
Humor – Being able to make people laugh puts them at ease and naturally attracts them to you.
Wit – This is a sign of alpha intelligence, being able to think on the spot and play with words well.
Fun/Adventurous – Being the life of the party, people want to be around you because you are a good time.
Intelligent – This is more then just being smart, it’s about having a social awareness.
Seductive – Being able to sexual arouse a women, knowing how to turn them on and play into their desires.
Confident – Being comfortable with yourself and not worrying about the outcomes.

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Get Lots of Experience With Women

There are two big reasons for this.  As with anything in life, the more things you try something out the more you learn about yourself including things like your likes and dislikes.  The more women you go out with, the better you will be able to gauge a suitable companion for yourself.  The other important benefit is pure experience.  Quality women, those with looks, intelligence and stability cross your path rarely.  If you’re lucky you will meet two to three a year.  If you don’t have the experience, talent, charm, wit and humor among other things to finesse them, then you’ll be shit out of luck.  Developing yourself as a PUA is really just developing yourself as a social person.  All the lines, routines games and stories aim to just make you that charming, funny, witty and fun guy.  Experience with women will really help you sharpen these skills which will ultimately benefit you in all areas of your life.
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Don’t Let Your Past Determine Your Future

Many times the things that hold us back from moving forward are things from the past.  As we grow it can sometimes be hard to let go of the person we used to be.  Perhaps a failure hold us back, or many failures for that matter.  It’s important to realize that although the past makes us who we are, it does not reflect who we can become or what we are capable of achieving.  If you have been rejected by ten women, that in no way should dictate what will happen with the next one.  Always keep in mind that failure is a part of the process and sometimes things just aren’t always perfect.  It’s always a clean slate moving forward, the past affects us only because we let it.

“You will fail your way to success.” – Les Brown

“Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.” – Les Brown

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Learn to be Coy with Women

You should always screw with and have a little fun with your women, in particular with one you are pursuing.  Don’t worry so much about the outcome, just go in to mess with her a little and have some fun.  For instance, you might say something like, “Hey, did you hear they’re closing the club early today?”, or if you’re brave enough something as ridiculous as “Excuse me, you dropped your dildo”.  One thing I like to do, is when a women asks me what I do, I tell her I’m a professional psychic, but I really get them going on it.  After a couple minutes, I bust them on how gullible they are.  Screwing with a women is a fantastic way to build attraction and get your head out of the gutter worrying about lines, openers and closes.  Although canned lines and openers are great to start with as they remove approach anxiety, a more seasoned PUA knows how to be playful and coy.  Also a great way to qualify a women to see what kind of sense of humor she has.
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Learn to Speak in Tongues

Everyone comes from different backgrounds and different experiences, which means people will look at the same thing in different ways.  Rather then try to argue my point and prove them wrong, I LISTEN to what they say from their perspective.  When you begin to do this, you will see in many cases people are all talking about the same things, but just from a different angle with a different light on it.  The end result is the same idea, but with a slightly different texture. I like to keep this in mind when communicating with people.  Picture a room with a ball and a fixed light source.  It’s the same ball but depending on where you are standing in the room it will take on a slightly different appearance.  Learn to look at the world at all angles, it will help you communicate and connect with people on their wavelength.
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Let the Universe Provide

This is a well known phrase from Mystery and how true it is.  You really need to embrace and adopt this mentality and just let things come to you, don’t worry so much about tyring to force things to happen.  If you’re doing a set or trying to hook up with a women and it’s not panning out, just let them go.  Don’t worry about losing them and realize the universe will provide if you let it.  Things never come in a steady stream, they always come in waves.  You will have moments where everything is great and moments where things just seem flat.  When you’re riding that wave, ride it all the way through, embrace it and take full advantage of it, maybe even slack off on a few other things.  When that wave ends and you are flat, then it’s time to put your energy into other areas.  Maybe back into work or the gym.  Don’t worry about always keeping things on an even keel.  Balance is bullshit, harmony is dynamic.
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Lingere Routine

This is a great routine to set a sexual tone early on in the conversation.  Not good to open with, but great shortly after opening.

YOU: Okay ladie(s), skill testing question.  La Senza or Victoria Secret?
HER: Neither, la senza, whatever
…..in between convo here……
YOU: That’s great, the last girl I dated always went Commando

I will follow by making up some story here about how she used to ride horses and they didn’t wear underwear because it gave them wedgies.  Anyway, you can take it anywhere, it’s a fun conversation and it brings a nice sexual tone early on.

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I’m Breaking Up With You

This is one of my favorite routines, it works best after you have opened a  women, somewhere in early comfort building stages.  Wait for her to do something a little off, even the smallest thing, if she looks away, accuse her of looking at another man and break up with her.  Then tell her you’ll take her back but on one condition, that she give you a shoulder and back massage any time you ask for it.  This is a great one because you can improvise a lot of it on the fly, just go with the flow of what she says.  You are rejecting her, turning things around and now she has to win you back.
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Have You Met My Best Friend

This is a nice little winging routine, just to get some humor and fun going in the group, you can pretty much throw this in at any time.  I usually just save it as a stall tactic in case I run out of something to say.  What you do is throw your arm around the women, look over to your buddy with his women and say “Hey, have you met my best friend…”.  You can say her name if you know it, but it’s even more fun if you don’t even know her name yet.  Your buddy would then spontaneously reply with the same body language and comment.  But with a higher tone “Have you met MY best friend?”  You can then engage the group together a little bit, then isolate again.
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Increase the Value of Your Buddies

The great thing about winging is that you can tell a women all the great things about yourself without coming off as trying to impress her or get her approval.  You simply get your buddy to tell her for you.  This does many important things.  If you are saying something positive about your friend, it makes him look like the leader.  By bringing up your buddies value it brings up your value by association.  You are saying something great about your buddy which should be something that brings up his value in itself. You are also displaying how you treat your friends which in turn shows how you will treat her.

This is a great round of DHV both ways.  You do a little pitch for your buddy and he one ups you and pitches one right back.  It increases both your values tremendously while simultaneously entertaining the women.  The trick is to not take it too seriously, don’t tell them how great your buddies car is, keep it on personality, how smart he is or how he’s got a big heart.  Also, of course never tell them how “nice” your buddy is.  There is another hidden bonus to this routine, it brings you and your buddy up by reinforcing yourselves positively, giving yourselves nice little constant boosts throughout the whole night.  This should be directly followed by a round of qualification on the women.

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Scratch My Back Routine

This is a phenomenal and fun routine that never fails. Clubs and bars are busy places so you’ll find yourself constantly pushing through crowds where in many cases a women will be behind you. In fact with a little bit of timing you can selectively choose more busy areas of a club to do this and time it so that you walk in front of a women as they are trying to get through the crowd. The premise is simple, you ask them to scratch your back. From there, use your imagination a little bit on where to take it. Here is a sample:YOU: Hey, while you’re there can you scratch my back, I got this major itch I can’t reach.

HER: haha, okay (starts scratching your back)
YOU: Oh my goodness, that’s amazing, you have great nails.
HER: laughs
YOU: Can you go lower……lower……lower (you get the point)

I’ve had women scratch my back, stop after I tell them to go to low, then spontaneously start again. You can also lead it into a massage, or make her your personal assistant. Have fun with it.

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The Three Hour Rule

It seems three is a popular number in game. Mystery’s three second rule is a pretty standard concept in the PUA community. I also find it’s good to wait in three’s when texting or phoning a women. Waiting either three or thirty minutes, or three hours just feels right. One piece where I find the rule of three really comes in handy is when setting up a date with a women. I’m a big fan of spontaneity so I find myself making same day dates with women a lot. I’ve been burned a few times because I tried to rush things a little too much. You need to give a women at least two hours to get ready before a meet up and it takes at least an hour of back and forth texting to get them to come out. If I want to meet a women at eight that night, I’ll start texting her at least three hours before hand.
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Let People be Who They Want to Be

Don’t project your idea of what you want someone to be on to someone you don’t know, especially with a women. Sometimes we get it so wrapped up in our head what our ideal women is that we try to change them to make them that person. We start writing them off if they don’t fit some criteria. The simple truth is just let people be themselves and make them feel comfortable being themselves. If you start setting up a bunch of criteria, people will feel insecure around you. If they feel like you just let people be the way they are without judgement they will open up much more to you and you will potentially find things you had no idea existed within them.

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Be Honest With Yourself

Playing games, using lines, and teasing are all good fun. But at the end of the day it’s all about being honest with yourself and the world. If you don’t like something, don’t pretend or try to convince yourself you do. Likewise, if you’re not the person people think you are, be honest about it. The worst thing you can do is to start trying to play some kind of person you aren’t. Especially don’t do this with a women. I know it’s cliche, but be yourself and fuck them if they don’t like it. This doesn’t meant you can’t change yourself but always be aware of what kind of person you are. When you are pursuing a women, you can use all the little gimmicks and tricks to get her and they will work. But eventually all that will fall through and you can only hide your true self for so long. The further the reality you present is from the true reality the more you’re setting yourself up for a hard fall.

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Make Money With What You’re Already Good At

We all strive for financial freedom and success.  We look out into the world trying to figure out where we can find those fortunes, not realizing those fortunes already lay within us.  Success is not about having talents or knowledge it’s about putting that talent and knowledge into action whether you are in possession of it or not.  Rather then go around looking for places to make money, take what you are already good at and figure out how to make money off of it.  Put your knowledge and talents into action.  If one can use their hobbies and passions to make money — it’s great.

Knowledge is only potential power.  It becomes power only when, and if, it is organized into definite plans of action and directed to a definite end. – Napoleon Hill

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Never Ask a Women What You Should Do

As an alpha male you need to act more like a leader.  As a leader you should always have a plan of action, a plan B and a plan C.  You should always have things figured out, taken care of and ready to go.  If you have plans to go out for dinner or see a movie, don’t ask her where she wants to eat or what she wants to see.  You should already have that figured out and just take her.  If she says she does not like sushi, then go with plan B, Italian food.  Those are subtle examples, but sure as hell don’t ask her what you should do with your life.  Where you should move, what job you should take, if you cross that line you’re in trouble.  It’s fine to ask for her opinion, but you need to make sure you’re making your own decisions.
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When Making Plans Keep it Simple

Whenever you make arrangements with a women, always keep it extremely simplified.  All you should say is “meet me at X at Y time”.  Don’t over complicate it by saying, lets meet here, then we’re gonna go here, etc.  It’s fine to have other plans, but don’t worry about letting her know about all of them.  Just a simple time and place will suffice, then do whatever you have planned anyway.  I usually tell a women to meet me close to my place, so I’ll ask them if they can make it to the corner of x and y at 8.  If they ask me what’s at x and y, I just say “only the best coffee shop in the whole darn city”.   Even if you’re seeing a women more frequently just naming a time and place shows you got everything covered and under control.  This displays a lot of leadership qualities which signifies status and higher value.
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Three Factors That Make a Great Partner: Physical Attraction, Mental Connection, Great Sex

When it comes to a man developing that strong connection with a women, I find that typically three criteria need to be fulfilled.  These three criteria are very hard to find in one person and usually you only find a combination of two of them.  First of all there has to be that physical attraction, lets face if, if you don’t find her attractive you probably won’t be thinking about her as a partner and at most a fling.  Once you have found someone you are physically attracted to, a strong mental connection is key.  This is that spark that you feel when your with someone, when you just seem to get each other and the connection between you comes effortlessly and easily.  Last but not least, the sex has to be great, if the spark extinguishes in the bedroom it will be hard to maintain anything passed a fling, especially if you have experienced great sex before.  Giving it up is not an option.
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Don’t Waste Your Resources on Women You Don’t Know

If you give in to a women’s demands to easily you are failing a subtle test.  In many cases when a women asks you for something she really just wants to know how easily you will comply.  If you comply too easily, this means that any women can get you to do what she wants.  Tests like this are a way for women to quickly filter out what type of man you are and how easily you are to con.  If a women asks you for a drink at the bar and you comply you are displaying low value by wasting your resources.  Subconsciously she is thinking how easily other women can get your resources which directly impacts her.  From a biological perspective this is not in her best interest, better to find a man who does not squander his resources so foolishly.
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Be Unpredictable

Being unpredictable is key to building attraction with a women.  When a women doesn’t know what you are going to do next, you are automatically separating yourself from the majority of men she interacts with.  Make plans to go out one evening then cancel, tell her something else came up, but never tell her exactly what.  Be very affectionate towards her, then suddenly turn off like she’s boring you and you want to get rid of her.  Always mix it up, make her guess how you really feel towards her.  Keeping her on edge makes things exciting, stirs her emotionally and dramatically increases her attraction towards you.
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Be High in Demand, Low in Supply

It is a well known phenomenon that scarcity psychologically creates demand.  Nothing is inherently valuable until we make it so.  It becomes valuable because there is not enough of it to go around, demand goes up and so does it’s inherent value.  If you make yourself too available to a women you are pursuing, her attraction for you will decrease dramatically.  You should not begin to make too many plans for the future when you just meet a women, its much better to be spontaneous and unpredictable.  Cancel a plan or two, make her wonder what other women you might be seeing.  You are high in demand and she needs to fight for your attention.  Make yourself scarce, don’t always pick up the phone when she calls or reply to her text messages right away, mix it up a little bit.  By creating the perception of scarcity fictitously or not, you will greatly increase her desire to want to be with you.
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Demand Respect For Your Time

You should always treat your time as precious and not give it away too freely.  When people are with you it should be viewed as their opportunity to spend time with you.  In that sense you will demand respect for the time given.  Too create this aura, you need to make yourself scarce so that when people finally do have a chance to be with you they are more careful to not abuse that time.  When pursuing a women or dealing with people in general any kind of childish drama should be disciplined with a reduction of access to you.  If someone acts negatively towards you and you simply go back for more, they will just feed of it and it will continue, no amount of reasoning is going to change that.  By simply not tolerating it and making yourself scarce you are telling people your time is valuable and you want them to be at their best when they are with you.  By displaying this kind of self respect for yourself you are displaying an inner value and high status that people will naturally align to.
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Never Give a Women What She Wants

We are used to this idea of giving women what they want, especially ones we are pursuing.  The more a women is used to getting her way, the less you should oblige her, in fact it’s probably the opposite of what she needs.  For instance, lets say you’re going out on a date with a women you just met and she asks you to pick her up, tell her to meet you there instead.  If you’re at the movies, make sure you are there to watch your movie.  It’s good to occasionally give her what she wants, but surprise her when she least expects it, don’t give in to her demands right away.  When you do give in, it will show you are doing something out of genuine interest towards her, not because you’re another guy lined up to give her whatever she asks for in the hopes that it will somehow win her over.
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To Become the Pursued You Must Not Invest

Can relationships truly be equal?  Why does it always seem like one person is pursuing the other and the pursued is always a little disinterested.  We are psychologically set to accept a gain but not a loss.  We always want to recover our losses, rather then cut our losses and move on.  The more investment a man or women puts into the other without return the more they seek reimbursement.  This is a big reason why guys act desperate towards a women and why women love the bad boys.  When a man sleeps with a women without investment, no drinks, dinners, etc, she is automatically at a loss (biologically speaking).  She gave herself up with no profit and now wants compensation.  Now she is pursuing you, do not make the mistake of returning that investment.  By returning it too early, a women may bail simply because she has recouped her losses and may not be willing to make the investment again.  Surprise her with a dinner here and there, but always keep her in the red, this will keep her pursuing you indefinitely.
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Blow Out the Competition – Turn Him into a Nice Guy

The frame here is to psychologically set the guy as a “nice” guy, which is associated as a boring less attractive male partner.  However calling someone nice, is technically a compliment so it’s hard for them to react in a negative tone towards you.  Not to mention most guys are too ignorant to know what calling them a nice guy really means and they might think you’re doing them an honest favour.

YOU: Hey you guys look like a sweet couple
HER: you want to get her response here (if they are a couple, just go with it and leave, if she says no we’re not a couple, it’s on.)
YOU: Well you know what, this guy, he’s a really nice guy, if you’re looking for a nice guy, hold on to this one. (walk away, but keep close, and keep eye contact, guy will probably get blown out soon and then you can move in)
YOU: I knew you liked nice guys (then take it form there)

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Blow Out the Competition – Tell Her Why She Shouldn’t Like Him

You are totally screwing with the guy here, so make sure you are smiling a lot, and come in very warm and friendly.  Find something on the guy that stands out but stick with something like clothes, don’t insult the guys physical non changeable traits.  At worst you are just mocking his fashion sense.  Also the trick when you tell them there is a problem, is to associate something completely random like her being blond to her not liking blue shirts.  But most importantly don’t say “blonds don’t like blue shirts”, just state something like “she’s tall, she doesn’t like blue shirts”, keep it mutually exclusive.  Make it clear it’s her specifically that doesn’t not like the blue shirt or whatever it is.

YOU: Hey man, that’s a really nice blue shirt.
GUY: thanks…
YOU: There is only one problem…..shes blond, she doesn’t like blue shirts.

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Negs Are All About Delivery

The trick to negs is all about delivery.  There is a concept in acting called subtext which is a way of saying the same thing but having different meanings.  For instance if your friend comes to you and says “you won’t believe what just happened to me” in a dark quiet tone with no smile you will think something negative happened.  If they were to say the same thing in a positive happy tone with a smile, you would think something positive happened.  I find when delivering negs the tone of your delivery is much more important then the neg itself.  You have to say them in a sly very subtly humorous tone, there can not be any hint of seriousness in your expression.  A neg ultimately is just a fun way to tease, but with the wrong delivery your audience may interpret your neg much differently then you intended.
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Know What Type of Women You Are Looking For

Besides the obvious physical features, like height, hair colour, attractiveness, etc.,  have you ever considered the type of women you are looking for?  Here are a couple traits you probably never thought of that can be quite important in finding a strong mental connection.

Introversion-Extroversion – Are her main interests in the inner world of concepts and ideas (introverted), or is she more involved with the outer world of people and things (extroverted).
Locus of Control – A person’s perception of whether they are in control of their own destiny (internalizer) or the victim of circumstance (externalizers).

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